Not long ago, Foster Care Clinical Case Manager Lilly Sternburg, LCSW, received a heartfelt thank-you card. It read: “Lilly, words can never express how thankful we are for you, and being able to share some of our journey together. You have been such a blessing and light to our family….”
Lauren, who sent the note, is one of the most receptive and hardest working moms The Home’s Youth Permanency Connections (YPC) team has known. And though Lilly appreciated Lauren’s expression of gratitude, knowing the family of three is now one again—and that they’re happy, healthy and healing—is all the thanks she needs.
Lauren’s daughter, Paige,* and son, Nate*, were removed from her care when they were seven and four, respectively. They were placed in different foster homes, in different agencies, with Nate in the care of The Home’s Foster Care Program. Initially, the permanency goal for each child was out-of-state adoption. This wasn’t Lauren’s goal. During their three-year separation, Lauren worked tirelessly not only on her recovery from substance use, but on reunifying her family. While in treatment, Lauren was determined “to do what I needed to do to get better and be there for my children.”
THE TIES THAT BIND
Though she couldn’t see them every day, Lauren did all she could from where she stood to be present for her kids. She insisted on sibling visits, so as not to sever their close-knit bond, and, when Nate was experiencing behavioral struggles and his clinician couldn’t get him settled, they called Lauren to comfort and calm him. “Lauren was incredible,” says Lilly. “Families aren’t always open to working with staff when the kids are in care. Mom was letting nothing get in the way.”
Lauren graduated from one program to the next, and she began working as a recovery coach. Their family visits increased, and, in time, her kids’ permanency goals shifted from adoption to reunification. Lauren became an inspiration to others. She told one young mom who was about to lose her children not to give up hope. “It is possible to turn it around, if you work for it.”
A NEW BEGINNING
Lauren’s own mother wasn’t a part of her childhood, growing up. She was raised by her father, who has since passed away. “There’s just something about me,” reveals Lauren, leaving her quiet but fierce resolve unnamed. “I want to break that cycle. I want the healing for my children and not the hurt.”
To prepare for their homecoming, Lauren scoured resources, secured an apartment, with full services in place, and worked closely with Lilly as her kids transitioned home. She leveraged the supports of our YPC team, asked questions, took suggestions and leaned into the relationships she and Nate had built with The Home—and she regained custody. “I just love them so much, and I want them to know there’s a healthy way,” shares Lauren. “I wasn’t going to give up on them no matter what. They’re my world.”
Lauren has been substance-free for more than two years and is taking classes to become a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor to give back to the community and those in need. She and her children enjoy playing in their backyard, going to the zoo and having family game nights.
*The youths’ names have been changed for privacy.
